By: BSHW (Twitter: @BallsSacksHWood)
The Worst People at Your Fantasy Football Draft
Everyone knows that one friend, family member, or random opponent who never fails to become the worst person in human history every single year at your fantasy football draft. Whether they’re playing for the first time, did no research, or had too many pre-draft adult beverages, you know these types of players, and you know they’ll never change their annoying draft “strategy” even after they get last for the fifth year in a row. The worst people at your fantasy football draft will always be there; you just can’t get rid of them. Fortunately, there’s ways to deal with these schmucks, even if their inability to get rid of their bad habits is Josh Gordon-esque. You’ll find a description of each irritating fantasy football player and a solution to deal with them that will help you win your league.
The Person Who Is Not Paying Attention
The most original, the most classic, the most relatable worst person at your draft is always the one person who can never seem to pay attention. They’re always busy stuffing their faces with food, trying to start a deep conversation with the person picking before them, or are just a flat out clueless person. They never fail to disrupt the whole draft over and over again turning the ordeal into an all-day extravaganza rather than a few fun hours with the boys.
Subconsciously feed them names of bad players you would never draft, so when everybody is yelling at them to pick, those names are the first they can think of when they panic.
The Person Who Takes The Whole Clock to Make Their First Round Pick
The beauty of the first round is that all the players in it are bona fide studs. You can’t go wrong with any of your top selections. In every good fantasy league, the position is decided pre-draft so everyone has an idea where they’re picking. So you know this person who needs the entire time limit is also the person who spent 8 hours the day before picking apart every detail between Le’Veon Bell and David Johnson or OBJ and Julio Jones. Just pick the one you like, it’s not that hard.
Similar to the first, plant a player that you wouldn’t mind getting drafted before your pick in this person’s mind a few weeks before the draft. Keep talking the player up in every conversation you have with the person and worry about one less owner picking your favorite first round pick.
The Person Who Picks Directly Off A Cheat Sheet
As The Football Guys You Fantasy About always say, you can’t have value without picking above or below their ADP, and you definitely can’t win a fantasy football league without value. That isn’t even the worst part about this fantasy football player. That’s when you’ve been waiting and waiting for your next pick and your guy keeps slowly getting passed up by every owner, until right before you’re about to get the steal of the century, but the cheat sheet guy, without even looking at his team needs, just looks at the highest person left and immediately drafts them, leaving you dead in the streets.
This is an easy to do solution. Most likely this player just picked up a fantasy football draft magazine or printed something off the internet in the few minutes before they headed to the draft location. A day or two before the draft, talk to the player and tell them that they can have your leftover draft magazine from this year because you’re all set. Then give them an older years’ rankings so they pick studs from 2014 instead of 2017. Likely they did no research, so they won’t even know the difference.